Monthly Archives: May 2012

Things Work Together

31 Thursday May 2012

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I have heard this passage from Romans 8 since I was a child:
“And we know all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Rom. 8:28 (NKJV)
It’s funny how my perspective has changed as I ponder this passage today. Looking back over the years, say for each decade, I could see the truth of these words, and agree, all things work together indeed. What is different today is I can see clearly there is more words in the verse. Most of what I saw was that “all things work together,” was me-ward. The passage also says to those who love God, those who are called by Him, which is He-ward. It’s not just about me, but about God as well.
I see how prayers I have prayed since entering into recovery, have been answered in ways that don’t seem possible. I would often say, “what a coincidence.” I thought it was finally my turn to experience things going my way. What an insult to God! I asked Him specifically for my needs and desires and when those very things became reality…I felt fate had a role, not the Master of Reality. In time I would see that He had answered my prayers, ones I had forgotten I had prayed. I am so grateful that hears and answers prayer, and He loves to do so.
His goodness leads me to repent and do good, as I mature I asked for His help to get sober, and He did. I asked for a mate that loved Him more than me, and He gave her to me. I asked Him to allow me to help others with alcohol and drug addictions, and they seem to come from every side. The thing that I didn’t ask for, He gave them to me as well. He is the Giver of every good thing. Now I know that all things work together for me, the more I love Him, and follow the call He has placed on my life.
Solomon was the third king of Israel. God asked him what He may do for him. Solomon asked for wisdom to rule. God granted him that plus wealth, and everything he desired because Solomon didn’t ask for anything selfishly. There was never a king like him since.
Think of the prayers you’ve prayed. You may not see how they came together, perhaps alot of time passed between your petition to God and the answer, so like me you forgot you had asked for that specific thing. When your answer came you were grateful, but didn’t see Him preparing you to receive the answer. An example may be that you asked God to repair a separation between you and your spouse. God heard your prayer, but you had issues that needed fixed before He could bring the two of you together again, like control issues, jealousy, anger, etc. He is very patient, we aren’t. We want the answer now…He knows now may destoy any hope of a fix. In time, when things are all patched up, we have that sudden realization..wow, It was Him! He fixed it!
On that day of days, when this life is over, one of the great joys we will experience will be seeing how every little detail was “worked together” by God. “So that’s how You did that,” will be heard all over heaven, as we review our lives and see God never stopped for a minute, working to fulfill us, hearing and answering our every cry. As we answer His call on our lives, and desire to love Him more, we can clearly see how “all things truly work together.”
Thanks for reading, God fulfill your life with blessings! Keith.

How to be Comfortably Numb

29 Tuesday May 2012

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To rest on our laurels is to position ourselves for utter and complete disaster. Complacency is a place of seeming peace, but in truth a place of darkness. That is where I see myself way too often. I have a good job, a place to live, food, clothing, a vehicle to beat around in…all is well. I am grateful to God for all of His provision and remember times I had those things but not the gratitude. When I feel comfortable, I need to make myself uncomfortable, or I’ll become numb to others around me, and my spiritual fitness.
It is too easy to lay back for several days in a row, not even having the slightest hint of returning to old thoughts and ways of living, and wind up smack-dab in the middle of the old ways. Too tired to pray, to busy blogging to read the Word, and I had a tough day, I think I’ll skip the recovery meeting, or church service, I convince myself. I suddenly become interested in things I could care less about like primetime TV, and reality shows that waste my time.
I used to walk 2-4 miles several days each week. When I began writing my book I walked a couple of times weekly. In time I was so busy with my book, recovery meetings, and mentoring, I quit completely. It shows and I feel it. Getting back to that form, and losing the 10 lbs, (all abs), I gained with complacent living is really tough. It is the same way spiritually for me. I am not legalistic regarding how much time in prayer or Bible reading I do daily. Truth is, I know when I skip a day of devotion to the very One I care the most about..it shows, and I feel it.
I may live long without walking those miles daily, or doing 100 pushups each day, but the quality of my life is affected greatly. I remain a follower of Jesus whether I spend X amount of time in His presence daily or not, but the quality of my spiritual life and conduct is affected…ask those around me at work, and at home. If I do not notice that, they do. I have become comfortably numb.
“These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me.” Matt.15:8
I can play the part of spiritual goodness and understanding, but in the quietness of my home, alone in thought, I’m thinking, why have I allowed myself to become complacent…again? I enjoy relaxing, that must be it. So I try to justify my actions, and the next thought enters, well, I’m always or normally at meetings or doing stuff for others, I need some me time. I know then that I have fallen into resting on my laurels and need to shake off the numbness, and attend to others, beginning with God.
Do you have these times of sitting back in comfort because of all those things you do and have done for others? I hope you don’t. I hope that this is something unique to me, but i’m sure that’s not so…you have them too. Or maybe you do nothing for nobody except your family or friends. This is the danger zone. This is the place where new addictions can easily formulate in your thoughts, and turn into action. Porn, gambling, adulterous affairs, are easily accessed via the internet, and can take you down a road of complete dispair and misery. Run for your life.
Run to God if you’re in this predicament. Find others to help. Read a good book, the Good Book. Spend time with loved ones and family members. Be wary of becoming comfortably numb…its like a drug, ready to destroy you and me.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all. Keith

A Moment of Silence

27 Sunday May 2012

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America celebrates the annual day of observing the fallen heroes of our history Monday. This day becomes more dear to me as I age. I want to honor those brave that paid the ultimate price to secure our freedoms we hold dear, and protect our borders from aggressors. There are many men and women living in harm’s way today that we need to remember in our prayers, that they remain safe from the enemies of democracy worldwide.

 

I concern myself with many unnecessary things these days, mostly foolish worries of no consequence. I do have a concern for how we, as Americans, take this annual observance for the purpose of pleasures without the slightest thought of what Memorial Day is all about. Some time back, the VFW memorial put this statement out:

 

“Changing the date merely to create three day weekends has underminded the meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed a lot to the general public’s nonchalant obsevation of the day.” (This was in regard to making memorial day on Monday instead of the set day)

 

We could observe the half-staff flag until noon, the moment of silence at three pm, and even go to a parade, but does that really reflect patriotism and true heart-felt meaning of this sacred day? Have you ever had a conversation with family members regarding the fallen? What about your children, have you talked about the lost lives that helped to secure those nice things you enjoy? Most people would have to say no, I haven’t. Or I am not much on history, besides, they learn that stuff in school. I didn’t. When my children were growing, I didn’t take the opportunity to make this holiday a special time for my young ones. I truly regret that.

 

You see, Memorial Day isn’t about the Indy 500. It isn’t about the cookout with the family, or the church picnic, or the big sale going on at Walmart. It isn’t about the pool opening, school letting out, or a weekend vacation. It is about a young person, lying in a foxhole, knowing their life is nearly over in the next few minutes, their ambitions and aspirations lost to the ages. It’s about those 56 that signed the Declaration of Independance, men of means, but lost nearly everything, some dying in poverty, to secure a life free of tyrrany.

 

These along with the multitudes throughout our history, are not to be forgotten because we haven’t taken the time to talk to family, especially our kids, to inform them of these who gave all. Why not start a tradition? Take 10 to 15 minutes in your family gathering to tell a hero of the republic’s story. Tell the story with enthusiasm, make it interesting. If you cannot think about a real event, go online, get out an encyclopedia. Use someone from anytime in history, the founders, the wars, etc. Just do it. Your children love to hear stories coming from the one they love…that’s you. Don’t let them grow and not know, and teach them to spend time in prayer for those serving today. The fourth of July will be here soon, and then do it again. Make the holidays memorable, and start new traditions your family will carry on for generations.

 

Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all. Keith

Gimme Three Steps

24 Thursday May 2012

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If you’re familiar with the rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd, you know the song. In the song, a man is messing with another man’s wife. When the husband prepares to shoot him, he asks for just three steps head start, and he will get gone for good! Cute song with a lesson. I had a lesson in life that required three steps to get me out, three steps to get my mind right, three steps into get my relationships healed, and three to live a normal life. Those twelve steps helped me walk the road of recovery and restored to me a purpose for living. It wasn’t an angry husband I was running from, rather, I was running from an angry me. I didn’t want to face myself, and see all of those character defects that were evident to everyone but me. I really thought I had no defects when I drank, but when I was alone, I would have rather faced that husband in the song than myself.

There was a moment of clarity when I realized a hopelessness that I hadn’t experienced before. I came out of the fog of self-deceit and my delusional state of the “king of the universe.” I needed help. Thank God that I got the help I needed. He led me to AA, AA led me to Him. I knew God from my youth from attending church and actually serving Him as a young man in my twenties, but through my personal pride, I walked away to pursue personal desires. I could have went to a church for help, but that could not have helped me. I had to be among people like myself, with the same problem. This is where I learned that recovery, real sobriety, would come in steps, not in one leap.

Enough about me. Are you in a similar situation? It doesn’t have to be a drug addiction, or alcoholism. Everyone has some sort of addiction, everyone. Fear, that leads to worry, talking about others, working constantly, shopping, surfing the web, playing video games, having to be a board member in every program you involve yourself in, trying to control everything, all of these can be an addiction. Exercise can be an addiction. And there are twelve step programs for overeating, smoking, sex and pornography, and gambling. If you fit into any of these, you can get help. Unless you have the addiction, or fear, that someone will find out you have a problem, you can get help. Don’t allow what others think keep you from living a life of freedom through surrender. There is nothing like it. Having your habits shared with others with like habits is liberating, to say the least. Here is how:

First of all, pray. Ask God to help you be willing to get help. Ask Him to guide you to the right person or program. Then make a decision to get to that meeting or make that call, take the advice you’re given, and pray even more for God to help you to accomplish freedom. Depending on your problem, some can receive help through a spiritual mentor, if that problem has no twelve step program. An example would be gossip, I don’t know of a twelve step program for that. By asking a person with spiritual integrity to help you, and give you someone to hold you responsible for your actions, will start you on the road to freedom. Here are three steps for you:

These are borrowed from AA’s twelve steps and used by NA, OA, and most other programs:
1) Admit you are powerless. Because of your addiction, you are unable to manage
your life.
2) Come to believe you need God’s power to help you.
3) Make the decision to turn your will and life over to His power.
These steps, along with prayer and a mentor’s experience, will give you hope and you will see daylight in overcoming the addiction that holds you hostage. It’s three steps toward the door of liberty.

As you truly accept the fact that you’re flawed, as we all are, then take these small steps, you must do one more thing; be willing to help others with similar problems. Give what you’ve been given. This will ensure your freedom. God’s grace will help you every step of the way.

Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all. Keith

NOW…faith is

23 Wednesday May 2012

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When is God’s time? This is a question that lingers in my thoughts after hearing that expression over the years. “It just wasn’t God’s time.” “It must have been God’s timing, He answers us when He’s ready, not when you are.” This is a couple of different ways you have heard this expressed by others. I’ve used these explanations when working with drinkers and drug addicts. We all want the answers to life’s problems, so we turn to God, expecting a quick response. “O God, I will wait patiently for Your answer, please get it to me before the end of the day.” You get the picture.
 ”Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen”……. Hebrews 11:1 (HSB)
Using the reason of God’s timing makes “unanswered prayer” understandible to the one who has a petition to Him. Making the decision to go to prayer, and presenting our needs, is an act of faith. Kneeling before God in prayer is an act of faith. Verbal expression to God is an act of faith. And that seems to be where our faith often ends. We then return to hope, we hope He will hear and answer, instead of receiving the answer in faith. Now we act, now we believe he exists, now we must believe He hears us, and answers us. Faith is NOW. Where we often fall short in receiving our requests in faith is that we are unsure if God wants us to have what we ask for. Is it really His will?
 ”Now this is the confidence we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions we have asked of Him.”1 John 5:14-15
How do we know His will? We have His Word to guide our prayers. If prayer agrees with what is written, we are in His will, and can ask in faith, receiving NOW, what we ask. There are things we ask for that go away from the boundaries of scriture, like, “I’ve asked God for a new car, ” but you don’t have means to pay for it. Or, “I think she would make a great wife, so I asked God to give her to me.” Now, thinking and praying in this manner is nothing less than presumption and folly. But in asking for daily bread, or to be centered in Him, or for God’s hand of protection over our lives, these are in line with His Word and will. We can be confident.
In the book of Daniel, Daniel prayed for God’s intervention in chapter 9. As he was in prayer, Gabriel, the angel was there with the answer. God’s time was that very moment he prayed. But in chapter 10, Daniel fasted and prayed, and it took 24 days to get the answer. The reason was not because of God’s time, but Gabriel told Daniel that the “prince of Persia,” an evil spirit, withstood him through that duration. Michael, the arch-angel came and cleared the way for Gabriel to give Daniel the answer. The answer to Daniel’s prayer was sent immediately,God’s time was the moment he prayed.
This is so important for us to see. Ask God in faith NOW! Receive your request by faith NOW! Faith is always right this second. If you’ve asked according to His Word, and the answer doesn’t seem to come, take a look inside yourself. Do I have unforgiveness towards others? That’s a answer killer. Am I living a lie, living in open sin? These can hinder your prayer, and your relationships to God and man. If that is not an issue, then you know the problem is in the spiritual realm, hindered by the devil.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all, Keith.

Changing the Baby

22 Tuesday May 2012

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Whoever is holding the baby is the first to know when the diaper needs changed. Shortly thereafter, everyone in the room knows about the needed change. If I need to change or alter a character defect, I know I need the change. When I neglect the problem, soon, everyone else knows I need to make a change. Some needed changes are beyond my abilities to alter, I am in need for God to step in, and He does if I ask. Sometimes I am directed to others who have had the same issue, and they help me fix what was unfixable for me alone.
Everyone needs fixing..that’s right everyone, no one is exempt. Change for remaining clean and sober is extremely vital for the addict. We have to redefine our lives completely and without exception. Old friends we drank with can remain old friends, but until we can maintain a long period of sobriety, we have to stay clear of them…completely. Places that serve alcohol must be avoided for a time. Areas where we went to cop dope cannot be areas we even drive past, alluding those “triggers” and a desire to return to the old life.
Embrace change. Realize the importance of improvement in every area of life, body, soul, and spirit. We should see, or smell, that this baby, myself or yourself, needs to improve every area. Thinking you are unique can really make change even more necessary. “I’m not like that, I am different,” can be a recovery killer. AA and NA, as well as certain Christ-centered rehabs, and Celebrate Recovery start their meetings with the Serenity Prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the difference to know the difference”…
This is a portion of the prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, that is used for the meeting, but is used by the recovering addict and alcoholic throughout the day, knowing it will take the help of the Lord God, to remain clean and sober. The agnostic, or atheist even use that prayer, but direct it to some power greater than themselves, the universe, or their particular recovery group. If they do not believe in God, and they continue in recovery, they will be contacted.
In time, when we make these important changes throughout life, we can even be grateful for bad things that happened and brought about change. We can be unaware of areas we need to change. You may have no problem with drugs or alcohol. Do you look at the addict, and think, why don’t they just quit? There is a problem area YOU need to change. Do you ever get in a conversation like, did you hear about the Smiths? They are split up. That is a issue change must address. We may not see it as a problem, it is. You are looking down at others, not across where your vision is clear, and reality exists. Change your diaper.
Trying to control others, worrying about everything, blaming everyone and everything for your problems, constant complaining, always upset about the messy house, etc, these are all hangups and addictions. Followers of Christ that see sinners without offering prayer to God for them, but condemning them, needs change in the worst way. There is good news.
“For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” Phil.2:13 NKJV
God wants you complete in Him. God wants you well to be a help to others, and that itself, is where true life is found. There are perks to serving, joy, peace, courage, confidence…and everything that is good, though intangible, manifests it many tangible ways. Change your diaper. It is full of self, waste, and really stinks. When you’re finished there will be more.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all! Keith

God is Thinking About You

21 Monday May 2012

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Do you ever wonder if God thinks about you? If He does think about you, what does He think? Here is something God says in regard to you:
“How precious are Your thoughts to me O God! How great is the sum of them!” Ps.139:17 (NKJV)
“That’s not me the passage is talking about, that’s David who wrote the psalm.” you say. 1Pet.1:20. Says no scripture is for any one person, but for all, given by God. So this is YOU, who God thinks about. He thinks good toward you, all the time. You may be going through circumstances and situations you can’t share with a soul. You may think no one cares for you. You may have befriended the wrong type of people for fear of being friendless, and now have fallen into their ways and are hooked on dope or drinking like they are….He’s still thinking of you.
You don’t have to perfect yourself, quit all of your habits or make yourself clean before He will think better of you. He sees you as you are and where you are, and is crazy about you. No one is preferred by Him. Nobody is more loved than the other. But he does give attention to those paying attention to Him.
Here’s how much He loves you. He gave His very best, in Jesus, for you. Jesus gave His life’s blood to cover your sin, and offers to give you a life beyond your imagination. This isn’t a life free of storms, or without sorrow, but you can have His peace in all of your troubles. In Him, life is full, joy complete, purpose discovered. In Him, you enter into a family that’s international in scope, and your family is there to pray for you worldwide. In fact, someone, somewhere is praying for you now. You don’t know them, nor they you. They may be a brother or sister in Africa, or China, that the Holy Spirit has placed you on their heart to pray for, an intercessor.
Of course, you still may not be convinced He cares for you, I understand. I know if you approach God with a sincere heart, and ask Him about it, He will make Himself known. For me, I know if God carries a wallet, my picture is in it. If He has a mantle over His fireplace with pics of His kids, I’m on that shelf. It is by faith I believe I’m there, and by faith I know He’s thinking about me. There is much more to the story…He has you in mind too, if you don’t believe me, just ask Him.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all, Keith.

The “F” Word That is Okay to Use

19 Saturday May 2012

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One of the most interesting parables Jesus gave was in response to a question from Peter. It’s found in Matthew 18:21-35. I’m going to paraphrase the passage so I don’t have to type 14 verses. Peter asks Jesus, how many times do I forgive a trespass? Do I forgive up to 7 times? Jesus answered, 70 times 7. Now that’s 490 times in anyone’s math, but not in Jesus’. The number Jesus was telling Peter was an infinite number of times.
Interesting. Now my first thought would be that if I’m wronged by you once, shame on you. Wrong me twice, shame on me for being a dope. In myself, I’m incapable of forgiving someone over and over for the same offense, or any offense. Jesus goes on with his story, telling how this CEO was settling accounts with his workers. One of the workers debts got way out of hand. He owed the boss 10,000 talents..well, how about 10,000,000 dollars, that’s today’s equivalent. Well he gave the boss a sob story, begged the boss not to give him the axe, and he would repay him every cent. The boss had compassion on the worker and forgave him…every cent of what he owed. Well, the worker slithered out of the bosses office and ran into a guy that owed him $10.00.
The guy begged his forgiveness, and told the man he’d pay the ten clams as fast as he could. He said no,and put his buddy at work into a place called debtors prison, until every cent was paid. Now his fellow workers saw what happened. They were so mad they went and told the boss. The boss was infuriated and said, you wicked servant, I forgave your huge debt, but you wouldn’t forgive a small debt. So off to prison the worker went for the rest of his life, or the $10 mil was repaid. Justice. Here’s how Jesus ends the story:
So My heavenly Father will do to you if each of you from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses. Matt.18:35 (NKJV)
This passage is not only interesting, it’s also convicting…to me. I know that I was shown compassion, more than dozens of times when I was drinking, and as much living clean and sober. I have no right to not forgive anyone. Who do I think I am? If you and I don’t forgive a wrong, we don’t realize the scope of what we have been forgiven of. We place ourselves in a debtor’s prison, so to speak. We put a huge barrier between ourselves and God. I receive forgiveness, but turn around and sin by not forgiving. Then wonder why God doesn’t answer prayers for me.
Think about the ones that have harmed you in the past. Maybe it’s a spouse who can’t come home from the bar. Maybe it’s a co-worker always taking the credit for things you have done. Maybe it’s the pastor of your church that won’t let you sing a song. Now think about the way you yelled at your kids when you came home in a crappy mood, and they forgave you. Think about how you stole money from a friend and the friend forgave you. Think about how you’ve lied to your parents, and they forgave you. I could go on but you catch my drift.
Let go of unforgiveness. Grudges turn into bitterness that can affect every aspect of your existence, even over to physical and mental illness, that can destroy you, or twist you into insanity. Forgive. Ask God to help you love…His way. He will come to your aid and place a whole new light on your way of living and forgiving.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all. Keith

A Heart of Zeal

18 Friday May 2012

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I have always had a certain amount of curiousity regarding some conversions to following Christ. Some new converts become extremely zealous, others quietly make the decision, the rest somewhere in between the two. There are examples of these in scripture. The radical conversions intrigue me more than the others, I suppose because when I came to Christ and received the gift of salvation, it was not a radical change. I didn’t run to everyone I knew to testify of my new-birth experience. My conversion was gradual in realization of the transformation. That is wonderful for me. I have to receive in bits or I may get overwhelmed.
Saul of Tarsus experienced the radical redemption experience to the point that the entire world was changed, not from he alone, but through his ministry and its offspring. Saul wrote in each epistle, of how the Gospel of Jesus meant everything to him, and he reached everyone he could, even to the most poweful man in Saul’s time, Caesar, who had him put to death. Saul’s name was changed to Paul, meaning “little.” Some say he was small in stature, I think he, being well educated, a Roman citizen, kind of a movie star type of his day, reduced himself to put Christ on top of importance, himself the least.
I have known many people in my lifetime who have had the radical change. One, a dear friend who sells cars for a living. I know all of the car salesmen stories, you can tell them to your children. (Do salesmen lie and cheat? Yes, some think they win that way, but never do. Customers lie equally as much, though this is only discussed by salesmen.) My friend Jim, I will use only his first name, became a Christian many years ago. There is a good chance, when you meet Jim, you will hear the gospel of Jesus.
I have witnessed this many times, selling the car to the individual comes second, presenting Christ is what really matters to Jim. I have a another friend that I love dearly, Russ. Another radical work of the Holy Spirit, Russ lives the Gospel. The Matthew 25 Gospel, literally. Russ is at the jails, the hospitals, visiting and presenting Jesus everywhere he goes. His love for God, and desire to see everyone come to the knowledge of the truth, is his purpose in life today.
Russ and his wife were vacationing, and his wife decided to sleep in a while, so Russ went to have a bite of breakfast. The restaurant where he sat down to eat was crowded, and a gentleman asked to sit with Russ, who replied, of course. The man, an attorney, began to tell Russ how travel was hard on him and his relationship with his family. Russ said that Jesus is the answer, came out of his mouth before he had time to think. The attorney, stunned for a moment, replied, as I prayed this morning, I asked God for a sign, God has been dealing with my heart for three years about entering the ministry. I am going home and make the plans to be obedient to Him.
Russ has dozens of similar stories, where his zeal for God has led him into supernatural experiemces. Both Russ and Jim have the gift of evangelism. Many have come to Christ from their obedience. Those who received this gift of grace, in turn, may have led others to Christ, that may have led others to Christ, and on and on. Their legacy may reach into every country in the world. Their wives, knowing their committment, have played second fiddle to the Gospel, and share in Jim and Russ’ legacy of service. How enriched is God’s family because of these two servants?
I heard a story some years ago, so the details are somewhat vague, but the gist you’ll get. An auction was held, and an old beat up violin came up for bids. No one even wanted to bid on the beaten, weathered instrument. An elderly man stood up and walked up to the auctioneer’s podium, picked up the violin, took a minute to tune it, and then played masterfully a most beautiful melody that touched every heart in the room. The bids went through the roof, and the violin sold way above its value. What was the difference? Little becomes much when its placed in the Master’s hand.
Paul, and these two modern day apostles, Jim and Russ, were taken by the Master, and their lives have been, and will be played long after they have passed from this life. It may have been the radical gift of grace, it is definitely their obedience, but any of us, all of us, have a gift of service to God’s kingdom. We have to allow the Master, to tune us up, tweak us a bit, and then play our life song through giving ourselves to doing kingdom business…with zeal.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all! Keith.

Conduct: The Way of the Wise

16 Wednesday May 2012

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As a child in elementary school, I dreaded the day we received our six week report card. As the end of the school day approached, the teacher took the stack of manila envelopes sitting neatly on her desk, and passed the accursed cards out to each pupil. Terror struck my heart, fearing what may be my last few moments of freedom from being grounded. Maybe mom and dad will let me choose what I can be grounded from this time…like riding my bike. After all, I never ride it in the winter.
 I wasn’t afraid of grades so much. I had my folks convinced that my teacher despised me, and only liked the girls in my class. (Teachers pets, I loathed them when the teacher made over them.) My fear was, at the top of the card was the little boxes for conduct and effort. If an S was in those boxes, I’m good to go for six more weeks. If a U was there, oh brother, the kiss of death. S meant satisfactory, U meant Unsatisfactory, or for me…unhappiness.
Looking back on those days is now humorous, and also revealing. I started a pattern of behavior as a child that carried me into my upper childhood years…my late forties. Good conduct was not my forte, especially while I was drinking. Boistrous and overbearing was my address, I needed to be the center of attention. No amount of advice to “chill” was any concern of mine. Mind your own business, jerk. I didn’t like criticism from nobody.
That did take a dramatic turn when I entered AA in humility, broken, beaten, and with a huge U on the report card of life. Working to improve my behavior has been an ongoing goal being clean and sober. The first of the twelve steps to recovery, was a mirror I had to look into, that reflected the truth about me. I was powerless over alcohol, my life had become unmanagable. This began a new way of living for me. I heard someone in recovery say, you can’t think your way into a new way of living…but you can live your way into a new way of thinking. I found this to be true.
The people in AA/NA, and Celebrate Recovery, taught me that growing up into adulthood is good for me at any age. It is true. I was when I accepted this truth, and began to look deeply into what scripture had to say about how I conduct myself, that God then had something He could work with in me.
“But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good; bad temper, irritability, meaness, profanity, dirty talk. Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a dirty set of clothes you have stripped off and put in the fire.” Col.3:8-9 msg
That is truth. Old behaviors and actions had to die in me. Some of those were easy to kill, some are still kicking and screaming to live through me. Though the physical part of me wants it’s way, too bad, the spiritual me must thrive. I cannot even think of trying to cease from inihilating the sin nature to conform to Christ. It hurts, it can be terrifying, looking at that manila envelope handed to me by the Teacher, revealing my sin, and shortcomings. Life is found from dying to self. Confidence and faith is discovered in conducting my life in the light of the Word of Truth.
“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you; compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline, even temper, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive quickly and completely as Christ forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love”… Col. 3:12-14 msg
I know I have a way to go, but this is the way of joy, peace, and happiness. I didn’t think so, conduct cannot have that much of an effect on my experiencing joyous living, but it really does. Read over these passages, and see how you conduct yourself. Putting yourself first, always blaming others and happenstance, having to be right, can only bring a life of misery, addictions, and seclusion for your life. Conduct really matters.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all. Keith
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