People in recovery from addictions have many obstacles to overcome, mostly of their own actions before getting clean and sober. I have noticed a large number of the recovering have children that follow in their steps, becoming just like mom or pop. It seems impossible to think that after all they were put through that they would consider trying to top their parents performance, but they do.
Many of us know that it isn’t environment that brings young people to follow their parents, although that is what we’re force fed by “leading minds” and “scientific research.” The problem is as bad in upper middle class society, and wealthy society, even in Amish communities, watching National Geographic’s series on drug abuse, and on the Amish, is revealing, proving the point. But even if you believe the opposite we need to focus on rescue and restoration.
What solutions can the average Joe recovering from addictions give his children to keep them from following his destructive path? If the offspring is already involved with drinking and drug use, how can they be swayed from that lifestyle? Much of what the parent says is ignored by the wayward child, and those who haven’t indulged in use have the auto-reply button on that says, well you did it, I may as well too! Be that as it may, the best way to direct them at this point is to show them the good life you discovered without boozin’ and usin’.
These are perilous times. If we want to help the young, or if you are elderly and have a son or daughter middle-aged or older that cannot seem to stay clean and sober, you have to make some really tough choices. And if they live in your home, it is even tougher. Don’t be co-dependent, don’t share in their addiction, cut the cord. You can help them by letting them go. Your giving them a place to live, paying off their debts, even giving them money, food and clothing, allows their addiction to worsen and there is only two chances they will get sober…slim and none.
I don’t recommend you do anything wihout prayer and further council, but consider this…boot them. You’ve given them chance after chance and heard promise after promise from them, but no action at all. If you tell them their lack of action, other than draining your bank account, is finally all you can take, they may react by doing something about their life. But you have to mean it. Kicking them to the curb may be the reality check that saves their life and your 401k. If you don’t have it in you to say ta-ta, then stop giving them money for anything. If they want a few bucks to get gas and job hunt, go with them to the gas station and buy them some gas. They come up with ingenious ideas to squeeze some cash out of you. You stay a step ahead.
If that son or daughter has not began to follow your past examples, but they are leaning that way, then you should talk, and talk often. I know that many teens have deep resentments toward their parents even if you have lived an exemplar life with no apparent addiction. So the task you have is to ask God to give you favor and a heart of love toward your child. Then ask them about their day, ask them their opinion about things, how they feel about living. Your attention and kindness is probably all they really want. In the past you may have been demanding and walked in the door screaming about the messy home, but if they wind up on the street doping and drinking, that messy house will have meant nothing. What do you think is the best way?
Choices we make may be tough. We may not want to do anything out of fear of losing the battle. If you prayerfully approach these choices, God will direct you. thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all.