Ordering the Miracle

Have you placed your order for the miracle you want? Do you have enough to pay for it? Maybe you didn’t see the price tag when you requested it. Maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about…which I’m sure you don’t. Let me explain.

 Miracle defined:
An extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.

Everyone wants to see a miracle. None more than those who have tried everything to get clean and sober from addictions. They know nothing short of a miracle can free them from the enslavement. It would have to be a miracle of biblical proportion, an act of God. Alcoholics and drug addicts that land in AA, NA, or CR, often give up way too soon before the miracle happens. Their reason may be they don’t believe in God, or if He does exist, He wouldn’t help them anyway. After all they have done too many wrongs, He would never help them anyhow.

 “If there were no God, there would be no atheist.”
“It isn’t that they cannot see the solution. It is that they cannot
see the problem.”
G.K. Chesterton

Most who give up aren’t ready recover yet. They haven’t experienced enough pain, nor inflicted enough on others. They will, bank on it. Those who do hang in until “it” happens knew their estate before they arrived broken and beaten by substance abuse, whether the drink, or drugs. They also realized the price to pay for their miracle. I have seen men and women come into AA meetings with their chins on the ground, whipped, hopeless, and even facing consequences enough to choke a horse. They stayed, lingering long enough until the light came on. Then the miracle happened.

Having tried everything, or thinking we have, there was a constant committee meeting going on in the gray matter. They yak constantly, the majority telling us multiple reasons we could never give it up. A few brain committee folk are saying, think about your spouse, kids and family, your friends and your job. It is maddening.

Yet the individual remained, the committee adjourned, and they faced their consequences, working the program in total surrender of their will to continue self-serving and quit. The impossible happened, their chins were no longer dragging the floor, even their countenance changed. Some go even further and continue meetings giving back what they were given, long after the miracle of sobriety happened.

For these, gratefully remaining to help others, see things return to their life that they thought never to experience again, a home, new car, money in the bank, the return of friends and family, and a deep spiritual relationship, in many cases. There are some side-effects from recovery, too. Laughter, a song in the heart, and return of having feelings and thoughts of how to actually decipher right and wrong, truth and lies, and wow, what a difference. I know, by the grace of God, I am one that stayed for the experience. Life is far from perfect, troubles still come and go. The trade off, however, is worth the price.

You may have given up yourself. Perhaps someone you love threw in the towel long before the miracle arrived. If they swallow pride, or if you do, life will return, finally asking God’s help to do for you what you could never do for yourself. Miracles do happen, God is real, come and find both where hope is really realized.

Finally Getting It…after many failures

Resolution to Stop Drinking and Doping…finally, I Will, I Think
Why resolutions fail may be answered by experts offering generalized pat answers from polling questions, or case studies. Unless you read their articles, their advice is moot, you will set yourself up for another year of failure to accomplish desired goals. The problem with resolutions is they are future goals, based on self-reliance, or willpower. Future goals are just that, the future, putting off trying because you are not ready yet. Willpower may work in some ways for you, but not in all things, or for what your resolution is aimed at to accomplish.

Insanity Defined and Sanely Accepting
You have heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, using the same methods, and expecting different results. All of the different things I tried to stop drinking came to nothing because I tried to do this by willpower. I am sure AA, NA, CR, rehab, or church would not have helped me then, or now, if my intent was to do it my way. What worked for the masses in getting clean and sober, in living for Christ, in any endeavor, would work for them, but not me. I am, (I used to think), unique, above the under-the-bridge-drunk, or the back-alley-addict.

I knew I was alcoholic, but refused to bow to “How It Works,” rebelling, desperately looking for the easier, softer way of getting free. Others who refuse to comply to what works, do so feeling they have crossed the line, have went too far for God’s grace to reach them, or for anyone to want to help them get well. No matter if you feel unique or unworthy, there is hope, you can resolve to stop, and achieve a sober life. Here is how.
(Two things: One, many say AA or any 12 step program doesn’t work for them because they do not want to get well yet. They are looking for your pity, hoping for another hand-out, or just trying to get you off their back, making you hopeless in their ever being normal. Second, this can work in many, even most areas of making resolutions, not just overcoming addictions.)

Finally Getting It
The experience I had to get sober is echoed throughout recovery groups. We all need to understand what WE means. Everyone who finally get it readily admit they needed help. Where the majority started, or first action, was looking for help from God. Some do not remember until time passes and they come out of compulsions fog. Eventually in their growth, suddenly they remember a most trying desperate moment they said…O God, please help me!
They may have thought the prayer went unanswered because it was much later, that the answer did come. It wasn’t God’s timing, you often hear so many say. It was a sincere prayer alright, but the intention was…help me out of this jam right now. You weren’t finished experiencing and dishing out pain on yourself and others. Yet, He heard your cry, and began pulling strings and manipulating situations. Perhaps you ended up incarcerated, hospitalized, or homeless, before you finally came to, but you did, because He did what you asked, helped you…just not how you expected.

Willpower has a distinct odor. A stench, actually. Anytime someone says they quit by willpower years ago, I nearly want to puke. Good they quit on their own, but their life is a dry-drunk existence. They didn’t experience growth in life from others help, maturing into seeing life in an adult manner knowing it is not all about them. I know of some that merely traded drinking for greed. They leave in their wake, a terrible message…”you don’t need to do anything but just quit like I DID.” SHOO-WEE, that stinks!

Prayer is the first action to a sober life, help from others is second.
We pray, God leads us to AA, NA, CR, OA, GA, or any of the many step programs where we receive help from others….and the program in turn, leads us back to God. We learn how to succeed from humbly following their direction, after all, it worked for them. In time, we find an individual we feel can mentor or sponsor us, so the recovery process goes to a new level, in most cases.

The next action in finally getting it is realizing I screwed my life up, I am unmanageable to stop the madness of addiction, and everything else in my life. The drinking wasn’t the problem, but turned on the light for what the real problem was...ME. When I saw this reality, I ACCEPTED my inability to change on my own. I CAME TO BELIEVE my need for help from others, by God’s grace via those place by Him in my path. They show gratitude for their recovery by giving back what they were given. (If you have benefited from your recovery program but do not give back in any way, you are ungrateful, living in the danger zone. I thought I ought to let you know.)

The last thing I want to add isn’t the last action in recovery. There is no last action. Don’t let that discourage you. The action is awesome, the challenge is life-altering, taking little-ole-me-and you into a new, higher dimension in life. We enter the cony-island way of life. Life, when we submit to God’s ways, in sober livings steps, may be like a merry-go-round, or roller coaster life, full of ups and downs. But we learn to enjoy the ride with enthusiasm, and actually remember it. The last action; MAKE A DECISION to turn your will and life over to God.

The worst mistake many in sobriety make is they only want enough of God to stay sober, get a job, a mate, a car, a home, etc. They only want Him as their personal genie, to fix their junk and their life reflects it. They only want to practice sobriety principles in some of their life, not in all their affairs.

Choosing Not to Finally Get It
Tonight is New Years eve. Many may see this post and save it for later, after tonight’s bash. Others may not see it until they are hungry for change tomorrow. Whatever the reason you do read this, whatever day your eyes fall on this page, know this: You do not have to follow the advice on the way to finally get it, written here, or from experts explaining resolution failures, or from anywhere anyone offers to help you SEE. But ask yourself this, how has doing things your way worked for you so far?

ADDED bonus for reading 
To summarize; I have been praying this prayer that I think may help you if you struggle with how to pray, or what to pray. It also covers what I have covered here, which are steps 1-3 in AA’s Big Book:

  ‘God, please help me stay sober today, I am helpless without you, my life is unmanageable. I believe you can return my sanity. I turn my will and my life over to your care, your will. Amen.”

Happy New Year, to you all! Thanks for reading. And if any of you go ahead and booze it up tonight, be careful, and I pray you have the worst time you ever had, the worst hangover, and puke your guts out…but also that God protects and keeps you alive, giving you one more chance. To you, it’s a crap shot, but He knows the end from the beginning, gracious to all!

How to Enjoy Christmas

How does one enjoy Christmas? For many Christmases in my life, I was fed up by the hustle and the bustle of the holidays. Sometimes I was outright angry at secular disbelief, insisting how offended they were by “religious symbols” or live nativity scenes invading their darkness…the true Narcissists of modern times. A few times at Christmas, I loathed my inability to lavish unnecessary gifts on my children and family members. And finally, often, the holidays passed while I boozed through them.

I should never judge how people see the Christmas season, but pray they get the point. I never want to be disappointed that I will be working and not with family, missing the family gathering and meal, watching the children beam when they open their gifts. That is precious, and should burned into thoughts or memories forever…with gratitude. That isn’t the point. So, what is the point?

The point I see today, as a follower of Christ, is the purpose of His visit, my gratitude and acknowledgement of that. I am transformed by believing in Him, His virgin birth… His life and teachings… His sacrifice on the cross… His blood destroying my sins past, present, and future… His resurrection guaranteeing mine from eternal death… and His continual intercession as advocate, defending me from accusations by the evil one. I am lifted when my belief turns to gratitude as I see the real Gift of Christmas, He gave Himself.

The point is seeing entire world is different because of His coming. Invention, exploration, and discovery may have been a part of mankind’s history, yet because of His coming and commission to His disciples to “go ye into all the world,” was catapulted as the Gospel spread, especially through the nations that accepted the message.

In fact, within modern history, from the past 150 years, technology has grown exponentially. I’m filled with gratitude, knowing He is the reason for this, His Spirit, Jesus promised, would come in His stead. The Holy Spirit brought the light of understanding and knowledge to people for invention, exploration, and discovery where His message is freely expressed and received. Where the message is rejected as truth, There is practically no invention, and the people would be living as people lived a millennium or more in the past without the discoveries from others.

How Christmas can be truly good, even wonderful, is refusing to allow the holiday to be about all you have done for others. You may have worked hard to cook, get everyone together, and to find that perfect gift for family and friends…and they don’t offer thanks for your toil. Think about what He has done for you, and be grateful by not expecting accolades…just give.

One last thought, and this is a “biggie.” You may not have time to go serve at a “drop-in,” or soup kitchen-meal-station for the homeless. Take a moment, pause and say thanks for what you do have. Ask God to bring comfort to the homeless, the widow and orphaned, the addict, the alcoholic, those trapped in darkness. Don’t forget to ask for our men and women serving the country, away from their families. Ask God to protect them from danger, from evil, comforting them in their loneliness…and their family the same.

Bonus thought. While you are asking, ask Him to foil the plans and schemes of the grifter running scams, preying on the elderly and weak. May God protect them all.

Merry Christ-mas to all, God grant you light to see His Truth…for His glory!

Relief for Holiday Depression

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
Right. “Maybe for you, but not for me. I can’t even afford presents for my children. We plan to have a bowl of corn flakes and toast for Christmas dinner.”
“If my husband would just quit drinking for the holidays, then we may be grateful.”
“How can the holidays be happy when your child is clinging to life after an overdose? Christmas will never be the same.”

These are some of the laments of families facing personal problems during the holiday season. I empathize with them. My heart goes out to those suffering depression brought by outside forces, or household divisions from addictions. I also have sorrow fro the lonely, those who have no one to enjoy the season with. The unmarried, widowers, orphaned children in foster homes that do not celebrate, etc.

There are also people so caught up in their work so deeply, or in so much debt, they cannot see celebration or purpose in Christmas. This form of depression hides itself from its victims, and renders killer-stress eventually. Where is relief for the many problems?, how can we celebrate and get free of depression during this time of year?

Pat answers are many in number; be grateful for what you have, pray, get counsel, go to an AA or NA meeting, (for those in recovery), etc. But none of these seem to help at our darkest moments, which may compound around this time of year. I want to offer something different to the mix of answers. This will take minimal effort but I know this works.

Many families read the Christmas story found in Luke 2 as an annual tradition. Try this, read around that story. Luke 1 is the story behind THE story. The angel appearing to Mary with the message of her selection, being the mother of the Promised One.
…”let it be to me according to your word.” was Mary’s response in verse 38, and the angel had said to her in vs. 37, “for with God NOTHING shall be impossible.”

These two passages are two sentences, as a person believes them, and speaks them, have tremendous power to affect the attitude with faith, in replace of the inward fears resulting in  depression. The pit of depression is a place of hopelessness. Saying prayers may seem unthinkable to the depressed and hurting, having tried to pray already, getting no results. But praying what is written, what the Word says, causes faith to rise and fear to run.

Here are two short passages, read them aloud every day until Christmas. Along with that, read aloud, or even better, pray aloud the Magnificat, Mary’s praise to God in vs. 46 through vs.55. Make it personal, saying to God in prayer:

“My soul magnifies You Lord, and my soul rejoices in You, my Savior. For You have regarded my lowly state, and from now on, people will call me blessed…You are mighty and have done great things for me”….

Continue this praise to God through verse 55, and do this aloud until Christmas Day. Get alone by yourself, sit in your car, or in a secluded place in your home. Take this serious, do it in praise and thanksgiving to God in your dark moments, in spite of the problems you face, or the challenges ahead that seem impossible…nothing is too hard for God. Scripture reveals the heart that is broken or fearful, will be liberated as that person praises God. (i.e. 2 Chron. 20, Nehemiah 1)

It is okay to doubt this. God is not angry at you for doubting. You’ve tried everything else, things of physical, or mental in nature have not worked. Let’s move over to the unseen, the spiritual things, bringing The Savior into your situation. Whether you doubt or not, put praise to God in your day and He will invade your world with life, joy and celebration.

Let today be the day you have the courage to believe in Christ’s purpose, and find your purpose. One more thought; read more of the stories around The Story, chapters 1-2 of Luke. The whole story is great and faith-building.

How to Have Faith…(when you feel faithless)

Something I hear often in recovery meetings or in conversation with others is, “I don’t have faith.” I can respond from my personal experiences and understanding gathered from study, but seldom do. The reason is that people have their mind made up regarding how they view self, religion, life, etc., and mostly unwilling to listen to any answer until their pain is great enough to want change in life.

The truth is, we all have faith. We are born with a bit of it. But faith has to develop, grow from a seed into a thriving tree…even an entire forest. How that occurs is through the ears, hearing…to understand. An example seen in recovery meetings is the newcomer.

Newbies come to AA or NA, unsure if they will be helped at all. They hear how others with similar issues or problems, kept coming back until they found hope, got clean and sober, and their life improved beyond their dreams. The newbie finds that hope and returns again and again until their faith grows a belief worthy of total trust.

Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Rom. 10:17 ESV
(To amplify this passage, I like to say, “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing, and hearing…)
Jesus said: Have faith in God…”I say to you, whatever thing you ask when you pray, believe you receive them, and you will have them.” Mark 11:22, 24 NKJV

Faith goes in through the ears, into the heart and mind, then out of the mouth. This is a fact for belief systems, no matter what the belief system is. Even the atheist has faith in no God by the same method; they hear atheist teaching, their mind accepts those teachings as truth, and their mouth speaks their faith in there being no cause for life, it just happened.

What if I am not in Recovery? How can I get faith?
Here are a few suggestions to grow your faith.

1. Pray, whether you believe in God or not. A simple, “God, are you for real? If you are, will you please help me believe? I really want to know.” (You will be contacted…I have faith in that fact.)

2. What are you listening to right now? Turn it off. TV, music, negative thoughts bouncing around in your head, or a negative friend or relative-do-nothing griping there is nothing to do. Sit down and read this post aloud to yourself. Or, read Mark 11, Romans 10 aloud to yourself. Read a devotional or the Big Book of AA. Allow something positive to enter the ear and lodge in your heart.

3. Affirm aloud to yourself, “I belong to God”…or, ” I’m getting better every day, my life is improving as I hear truth, I believe.

This is just a start to cultivating the greatest resource, or spiritual tool we all have. Faith is essential for recovery, for learning, for every endeavor attempted by mankind. Invention, exploration, and discovery are all born of faith. Be savvy to this as well, doubt and fear are the arch-enemies of faith. These little imps produce questions in spite of proofs, tear down the most powerful of dreams and hopes.

Choose faith over fears. Take this final passage with you into next week and personalize it saying it aloud to yourself:
…Be strong and courageous, don’t be frightened, don’t be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!”

How to be Grateful…(when you don’t want to)

The question I had to ask myself was, “what in the world has happened to you?” The past two years has been nothing short of a real smack-down of sobrietal reality. Depression? Frustration? What is going on, and furthermore, what did I do to deserve this garbage? All I wanted to do was help others get, and stay clean and sober. Yet, here I am struggling to do the simplest tasks in every area of life.

We alcoholics and addicts tend to look at everything external to find who, or what to blame. Eventually with God’s help, the message is clear…look in the mirror and you’ll see the problem.
It is me. I look at the inward self and see how I am seldom prepared for battles life delivers. The core of this onslaught is ingratitude. If I see gratitude as an action word, then ingratitude is a lack of action, not giving back what I’ve been given.

How can I stay grateful when I don’t feel it? 
It’s words. Not a fake-it-till-u-make-it way. I have to look beyond the veil of deceit that this existence offers through mankind’s fall from grace. That is, count blessings, say words of thanksgiving to God, and DO little actions to cause zeal for service to others to return.

I was so grateful to God early in my recovery that I wanted to give back any way I could. I was willing to clean the men’s room, empty trash, both at church and at AA. When I felt down, or felt old behaviors trying to rule me, I went to the AA meeting place, having a key, and cleaned. I cleaned and prayed. God heard and answered, not because I cleaned, but because I put faith and gratitude into action. Things changed, I was restored and refreshed with those little actions, giving back without anyone knowing but God.

Those early experiences catapulted me to spiritual fitness, hungry to serve, thirsty for knowing more because….this really works! Expressions of gratitude filled my conversations and prayers. I understood what people had said in meetings, how the grateful souls are those who DO gratitude, not merely say it. Those who express gratitude, live with purpose and experience joy, peace, and confidence in God’s ways, that are far beyond human comprehension…I mean, how can being thankful change my situation from distress to feeling fulfilled with purpose? It is a God thing altogether.

“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.” God’s decree. “For as the skies soar high above the earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, the way I think is beyond the way you think….the words I come out of My mouth will not come back empty handed. They will do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.” Is.55:8-9,11. (The Message)

God Does Nothing like humans. Our gratitude is nutty to people’s way of thinking. People think being grateful for anything they cannot eat, spend, possess, etc., is foolish entirely.

Gratitude may be hard when I don’t feel grateful. But if I say what I hear others say; “well, that’s just how I feel, I’m just being honest,” I will not come out of this funk until I stop saying junked-up words from that trashy attitude. To know “this too shall pass,” is a nice saying, and true. When I stand up and thank God when I do not want to, and every thing is going wrong, He is pleased, making changes in me. Those changes lead me from that funk, to a clear and meaningful peace, a joyous way of living.

Think today of what you are not grateful for, write them down. Think today of what you are grateful for, write them down too. Then thank God for both for one week. See how the things you were not grateful for change,or ratherhow you view them. Will you be grateful for bad things? Will you see them as lessons in life? Maybe, maybe not. You will feel differently, I’m sure. For me, I know gratitude changes me from the inside out. I am grateful. Time to express it with action, and be healed.

Family and Fellowship

This past weekend I had the privilege of being involved in my church’s 100 yr celebration. I also had the pleasure of the weekend off from work.  My parents, now 85, flew up from Florida for the event and I was blessed to have them stay with me, along with my sister Karen, whom they live with. I had a great time seeing, and of fellowship with people I never thought I would see again. The music was awesome, the praise and thanksgiving was moving, to say the least. Many members and staff deserve honor for the hard work. What a family! What a fellowship!

This weekend had a message for the recovering alcoholic and addict, that reflects the statement heard often in meetings; Meeting Makers Make It. My take is this; fellowship with like-minded people, with life-like problems, and realize recovery taught in the “Big Books” and the Bigger Book, the B-I-B-L-E. (Yes, that’s the book for me)

Our recovery hinges on truths we know works for everyone mentally able to understand. Those who think they are unique, able to willpower sober living, (the insane), or one of these days they will suddenly sober up and start attending, miss the greatest blessings ever by misunderstanding the importance of fellowship and family. I laughed more, loved more, and renewed my desire to DO more this weekend than a year of partying at the local bar.

I made it to one NA meeting, and two AA meetings as well as Sat and Sun meetings at church, to see both side of the family! I am grateful for the riches of God’s mercy and kindness, allowing me to be among His family again….what I thought would never happen and certainly do not deserve.

The weekend consummated with a gathering of my parents, sister, children and grandchildren gathering at my home to say farewell to mom and pop. Grateful even more, this would have never happened had I remained entangled in addiction to self-serving. The message to you feeling hopeless is don’t quit! Keep working the steps to recovery, get the sponsor, pray, and by all means….get to meetings and fellowship. This is key in your spiritual fitness and restoring relationships with your birth-family.

Think about who you hang with, your friendships or fellowships and family. Do these build you to live without use?, do they nag you to stop using?, do they enable your using?, do they even care? Come and join the family! Hope is found in meetings of AA, NA, CR….Eternal life with God’s family. If you are a user of dope or alcohol, of porn, gambling, etc., don’t kid yourself, you need both desperately. You come looking to receive, you will in ways you cannot imagine.

He Went Where?

The Pope sent a message to every leader of every Christian sect worldwide. “Meet with me in Washington. I have wonderful…and disturbing news for you all…God has given me a message for you all!” They gathered, every Christian leader in D.C., awaiting the news. The Pope rose to the podium. “Ladies and gentlemen, I have news, both good and bad…”Christ has returned to Earth!” He has not come for judgment at this time.”
A Baptist minister stood up and asked, “If Jesus is back, what could possibly be the bad news?”
The Pope responded, “He called me from an AA meeting in Ohio.”

Jesus, if He attended an AA meeting, would not be there to treat alcoholism. Don’t think I am trying to be irreverent. When He returns, He will come as it is written, and for the purpose He said He would return…and that appears to be the next major event on the prophetical date book.

The humor of the story is that Jesus has to come back to the Earth to do what the religious should be doing first and foremost…but cannot without disturbing their flock, or rocking their place of comfort, or studying to prove themselves right and all others wrong. Down the street, the widow is eating cat food, the orphan is being taught survival by the criminal element in the “hood.” In real life, most churches today have food banks, and emergency funds for the truly needy. They strive to serve the best they can, I believe.
That is good and follows Christ’s commands. But we who sit in the pews only throw a few bucks in the plate to fund these programs. That takes care of our guilt and we move on with our life, satisfied with our goodness. We may go a little further with a moment of silence for people suffering…like that does any good. Really, don’t think something nice, do something human, take action.
Jesus is here today in the person of the Holy Spirit. I sense His grief, I believe, over our division within Christian ranks, our hunger for more of everything that perishes, and drive for self-importance. “If Christ is here, where is He?”, the unbeliever, the cold or lukewarm believer asks.He is where the hurting, the broken, lonely are…AA, NA, and those places and in those hearts looking to serve the needs of all for God’s glory. He is where those who hunger and thirst for knowledge of Him and want His presence. 
Jesus is where darkness is the greatest. It is reported He has appeared in dreams of people in Islamic countries saying, “follow me!” That is from their mouths, those who followed Him at the risk of losing everything, family, possessions, or even their lives. Jesus is exactly where He was when He came to the planet two thousand years ago…among the people looking for a savior, for truth without strings to support scientific facts or educational falsehood of our origin.
He is in the churches that gather to build the spiritual house for Him to dwell. Not those who insist on exclusivity, believe our way or else go to hell. He shuns the bless me clubs that come together to agree on social status, who gets the lead in the holiday program, or individuals serving Him for self-promotion.
Today, it is of extreme importance that we who believe make every effort to test ourselves to see that we truly believe. I feel certain from the direction we are heading, away from anything godly and everything that removes Jesus, days of the end are here. We need to go where He would go, do what He would do, without concern of shame, or fear of mans disapproval.
Like my uncle Don used to say from the pulpit, “get in, get out, or get run over.” 
Blessings.

I’m Going To…

“As soon as baseball season is over, I am going to get serious about my drinking problem.”
“Sure, I really want to be a Christian, but I need to clean myself up first. When I stop drinking, cursing, and other things I know is wrong…then I will serve God.”
“I know I need to pray and read my Bible more. As soon as the kid’s soccer season is over, I really want to start a daily program.”

The above statements are those of us all at one time or another. For some it is a way of life. Putting off important matters because of being too busy will continue until we see fully what it is we are doing, or not doing. That is, when it is crystal clear the damage inflicted on ourselves and others by procrastinating. I heard a man say in a AA meeting, that procrastination is ultimately self-centered. A chronic procrastinator only does what they “feel like doing.”

Putting off getting ourselves to recovery until football, baseball, or any sport or activity we enjoy season ends, is really saying, “I am not ready.” There is no reason to nag this person in an attempt to get them to see their need. Their mind is made up. The bottom awaits, normally with legal consequences like a OVI/DUI, job loss, divorce…procrastinating until it is too late.

The same is true in statements like trying to clean oneself up before asking Christ to come in to their life. They have the mind-set of playing out their life the way they want, putting Him off to live as they choose. They are not ready, and probably never will be. God will go to any means to get to them, guaranteed.

The parents that think they will suddenly have an urge to get serious about their relationship with God when their kids activities come to an end are only fooling themselves and setting a terrible example for their offspring. Their kids will follow how they are taught, everything goes ahead of spiritual matters, God is somewhere down mom and dad’s priority list. Do you really want your children to place importance on everything ahead of Him? In fact, for me or any believer to say, “I need to pray and read the Word more,” is repulsive. Praying and reading the Bible are both privileges for us, we “get to,” not need or have to.

I’m fairly well convinced procrastination, those five syllables of death, can only be beaten by our seeing it as a problem. Then accepting that we are procrastinators, and asking God to forgive us and help us overcome. Once we have done so, I suggest making a list, from things we know we dodge, from smallest to greatest, then back to pray for help, list in hand, confessing our weakness and inability to “want” to do these things. The realization of our unmanageable ways, the admission, and the desire to stop, lead us to surrendering to Him, the only hope of real healing.

He will help. My other suggestion is to take the list and do the smallest item on the list first. Then the next smallest, etc. When the little things we postpone are accomplished, the bigger issues become smaller, easier to do when handled with prayer. Give it a go, don’t delay.

Recovery Killers, 5 Things to Watch Out For

If you are recovering from addictions and attend meetings on a regular basis, you are aware of triggers that lead many to relapse. Most of the effort used to help those in danger of relapse is focused on individuals new to recovery, or perhaps those going through difficult times at present. For any and all in recovery, relapse is a real threat. Whether that relapse returns us to actually using what ensnared us, or to returning to old thinking and self-service. Recovery is getting your life free from addiction. Sobriety is living life, personal growth, having ambitions to strive for, seeing life with a sense of purpose.

We have all experienced shock when someone with many years in recovery suddenly fell and returned to using, boozing, and doing what landed them in recovery originally. We were sure they were cognizant of what to watch out for, so why did they relapse?

There are many considerations as to why that were obvious, or not so obvious, and some not even considered. Here are a few to give pause and consider…and they are killers.

1. Forgetfulness
I’m forgetful, you’re forgetful, all God’s children are forgetful…that’s not a song. Forgetting how you felt when you first landed in recovery meetings can do great damage to ones sobriety. Remember that first meeting? Remember those first few weeks, months and learning how to accept what you became. From what may have started innocently, brought you to the bottom. That memory can keep sober living fresh, and you enthusiastic about sharing “how to” with others. To forget is saying to self, I’m really not as bad as I thought, having a drink or two won’t do me harm…I am not a foolish teen any longer.
2. Remorse
No matter how many meetings some people attend, or rehab, or church attendance, they never seem to get over what could have been. They had aspirations, perhaps were well-known athletes, musicians, or brilliant academically, but became addicted, and hit their bottom in shame. They cannot forgive themselves even years later. They dwell on their lot in life until they just give up trying to recover.
3. Personal Pride
This is something everyone needs to be aware of in recovery. Somehow, as time passes, we learn how to speak well in meetings, newbies and others look up to us as knowing our stuff about clean and sober living. Getting free of addiction then having a lack of humility, to a realization that we are leaders, with the most sober- time in the room, is a fall in process. Never take the “what you need to do is”....as though we have every answer to every problem.
There are many unique situations, i. e. mental disorders, difficult upbringings, some grieving from personal loss, etc. Though twelve-step recovery works for all that have the mental capacity, none of us unique, there are unique situations. Have enough humility to listen before suggesting.
4. Criticism 
This is a recovery killer we all may struggle with. I nearly quit attending meetings early on, criticizing, and over-analyzing every thing I heard in meetings. On one occasion, I had enough of hearing one individual’s story in every meeting. The same story took ten precious meeting minutes that I could have used to speak, though nothing I said had value. I knew little.
At the boiling point I told a friend I have had it with this guy, when another came to join our conversation saying, “wow, did you hear that dude’s story…that was awesome! I slowly learned to stop criticizing and to listen with the heart as well as the ears. The change was dramatic. That experience also helped me stop the gossip of others in recovery.
5. Ingratitude
To a point, we all have gratitude, or maybe a sense of relief that led us to be grateful for finding our way to the sober life. When in the depth of addictions, we are grateful for little, and have a sense of entitlement that makes us obnoxious for the most part. Learning the importance of gratefulness for every little thing is a addiction-breaker.
Taking a hot shower with a clean towel, clean clothes to put on, water to drink, food to eat, things we never gave thought to be thankful for become a point of grace to us. In time, we may go from feelings of that’s all behind me now, it comes natural to stop being grateful, feel entitled, after all, we may think, I worked to have these things. But without recovery, help from God and others, you and I wouldn’t have a job to afford the food, clothing, and roof over our heads.

These killers may not top the list in our thinking. Be aware, they are real, and the list not nearly complete. There are many others not mentioned here or in meetings. The idea is to keep the principles and process fresh in your thinking. Don’t allow people, places, and things to be more important than personal growth through sober living, service to God and others. Stay small in your own eyes with gratitude for everything. Forgive yourself because you are forgiven. If you cannot jump that hurdle, seek professional help.

And one last thought, don’t gossip or criticize. Talk others up, especially those who get under your skin. Say good things and compliment them with sincerity will help you mature to see them in a different light. Stay critical and you will face from others what you gave to them.

Laugh as much as you can and enjoy everyday of your recovery, and sober life, remembering your first visit.